Written by Stephen Turner | 29 November 2010

In Peter Jackson's movie adaption of Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Boromir (Sean Bean) utters the memorable line, 'One does not simply walk into Mordor.'. Not only did it become an internet meme to be about all the various ways you can't get into Mordor but it provides me with a rather neat introduction to the next stage of the Hero's Journey.

Before there can be any confrontations with the villain, before there can be rescues of princesses, before the plans can be uncovered, the doomsday weapon sabotaged, the itinerary of the conspiracy and membership lists of the cabal revealed our protagonist must first make his or her way into the Fortress of Evil.

Needless to say this is not an easy process, as the antagonist tends to be rather protective of his or her privacy and is able to deal with those annoying door-to-door sales persons in ways we can only fondly imagine. The Big Bad will usually, at the very least, have locks and a high fence to keep people out, and if not accompanied by a legion or two of heavily armed minions then maybe they'll have some large, hungry dogs. Security systems such as basic passwords for those private files are also popular, not to mention cameras, motion detectors, mine fields, moats or vast expanses of inhospitable, if not outright hostile, landscape.

So anyway, our plucky protagonist for one reason or another must sneak into this bastion of darkness. Fortunately for them there will be some way to infiltrate the lair as all evil overlords seem contractually bound to have some blind spot, backdoor or security loophole¹. Why they do this is open to conjecture, possibly it's because one of Murphy's military laws says, 'The harder something is to get into, the harder it is to get out of.'. It is entirely possible that the Evil Overlord has an escape tunnel for those moments when the hero, or the torch wielding mob, turns up to have words. Or perhaps the villain wants to make sure that if they get locked out by treacherous minions then they have a means of getting back in and to have words of their own. On the other hand you can never rule out stupidity and incompetence, building contractors who didn't really care or a forgetful nature that necessitates a spare key be kept under the doormat.

Finding these flaws and loopholes can make for an adventure all in itself.

Also one should remember bluff and boldness when it comes to getting into places. Posing as the plumber, pizza delivery driver or variations thereof have always been popular, as has stealing the uniform of the local minions, hiding inside a wooden horse, being smuggled in on the supply ship or posted in via the local version of the mail

R. E. Howard's swashbuckling hero El Borak in Sons of the Hawk needs to infiltrate a city of cut-throats and murderers who were united only by their murderous hatred of him. Rather brazenly he went for a simple disguise, a change of clothes and attention-seeking behaviour. It worked because few people knew him by sight². There is also the path of the unexpected. Most dens of iniquity and vice are on watch for the subtle approach, the stealthy and sneaky ninja types doing their best to go unnoticed. Early in his policing career Terry Pratchett's Carrot Ironfoundersson arrested the head of the Thieves' Guild simply by going in the guild's front door. The thieves were quite shamefaced by the whole thing.

In elder days, the lord or lady of evil might have made their stronghold in a distant place in barren landscapes, rivers of lava, volcanoes, dark skies and the kind of "do not trespass" sign that involves body parts, while galactic warlords favour huge battle stations with the strategic habit of looming on the horizon when negotiations need that little touch of incentive. In more modern times the tower of evil tends to be less out of the way. The shining spire of glass and steel where the corrupt corporation makes its home can usually be found in the middle of the city's business district, with the kind of private security that could (and may very well have already done so) lay a moderate-sized country to waste.

The bastion of evil does not even have to be a physical place. It could be a group, such as a rival team or the local mean girls' club, who must be joined in order to learn the dirty tricks being planned. It may be a virtual place, such as a corporate cyberspace account with firewalls and security programs that need to be hacked. All it takes is you having to make an entry where the power of the enemy is strongest.

While gaining access to the dark places can be achieved through a variety of means, from crawling through the ventilation system (Mission Impossible), pretending to be dead (Highlander 2) or smuggling the group in using hidden compartments on a captured ship (Star Wars), it inevitably involves crossing a second threshold, one with its own challenges, sacrifices and guardians. The first threshold allows the protagonist to show if they are worthy of taking the hero's journey. They must prove not only what they have learned while on the Road of Trials but they must also show their resolve and what they are willing to sacrifice to get things done.

Of course once you're in, there's always the need to get out after you have done what needs to be done. Usually this involves a lot of running for one reason or another, either to escape vengeful villains or a self-destructing lair of villainy.

Of course spectres, giant spiders and orcs notwithstanding a pair of hobbits pretty much did just walk into Mordor, and  they used the backdoor. Thought I should just mention that.

¹ This is "code" and can be found referenced in Terry Pratchett's The Last Hero
² He is eventually recognised, of course, and hilarity, as they say, ensues.