"Nice day?"

It looked up and nodded its woolly head. Thing ripped out Marguerite's mandible with a loud giant popcorn 'pop' sound, followed by crunching.

"Now don't get anything on the carpet. Keep it on the mat. You know what them inspectors are like with them machines."

It grunted and looked down, waiting.

"Go on," I sighed. The slurping and crunching started again.

I picked up the newspaper and sat down. Cassie shouted, "Hello, dear!"

Thing grunted and burped then sighed in satisfaction. I am happy for Thing, happy to take it in and feed it, and am happy with the rewards. "So you not going to give me a kiss, then?"

"I'm in the kitchen dear."

"Am I not welcome no more?"

Thing looked up at me. A finger dropped out of its mouth. I said, "Nice day?" It resumed its meal.

Cassie walked in and kissed me on the forehead. "How are you dear?"

"Great, thanks."

Cassie and I looked at Thing and that carcass it was gnawing on. Marguerite was hardly recognisable. "You think Herb will find out?" Cassie asked.

"I don't know." I pinched her bottom. "It's quiet now, and that's all I care for."

She looked over at Thing, her fingers twisting together like she had arthritis. "He's been strange today. I think he knows."

I looked across at it, admiring the thick fur. "Winter's coming."

"Would you like a coffee?" she asked.

Thing looked up and stepped towards me. I shouted, "Nice day?" I then said, "Coffee sounds great."

Thing growled at me then turned away and went back to Marguerite.

"They'll be over in an hour," Cassie told me. "It's been nice while it lasted."

I pulled at Cassie's skirt and made her sit on my lap. "Cassie. You know how I feel about Thing, right?"

"Well, of course I do."

I stroked the inside of her leg slowly until I reached the top. She slapped my hand. "Mr Blake, now you stop that!"

I smiled at her. "Sorry. Now let me up."

Cassie stood up and I went into the kitchen and retrieved the largest, sharpest knife we had. Thing jumped up and down as I went over. I said, "Very sorry about this. I hope you understand."

The knife entered one side of its temple and straight through his brain to the other side. He looked like a furry cowboy with an arrow through his hat. Thing fell to the floor, dead.

"Need some help, dear?" Cassie said.

"Sure. Grab a knife."

We sliced him into meaty ribbons, putting its hide in a garbage bag and placing it in the bath. We took the meat and barbecued it on the veranda and Cassie went out and threw the bones to the wild dogs on the other side of the street, including Marguerites. When she came back, she was just as bloodied as I was.

We had a shower together, soaped each other up, then fucked.

After we changed, we sat down with two glasses and a small bottle of lemonade. The doorbell rang as I finished mine. We searched the room quickly. It was all clear, save for a few hairs which could be explained away. I opened the door. It was Rob and Ben, the gay couple from across town.

"Something smells great!" Rob said, eyes startling. "And you must be the lovely Missus Blake?"

My wife blushed, bless her.

"I can't believe how much the neighbourhood has changed," said Ben.

After twenty minutes talking, we sat to eat. Rob asked, "What sort of meat is this? It's beautiful."

I wiped my face with a napkin. "Special recipe. We call it 'Thing'."

My wife asked Ben, "Nice day?"

I miss him already.